You are with each other practically every day of the week. You have your summer and winter vacations together planned out. Your weekend plans involve each other and other couples. You pretty much speak in your own language. Hold on; just because you are in a relationship, doesn’t mean the girls and guys don’t exist. You need a break. In relationships and marriages alike, it is important to take “girls’” and “boys’” trips at least once or twice a year, with “trip” ranging in everything from a low-key weekend north of the city, to a party weekend in another city or a mixed bag beach vacation. Whatever the case, we mean a trip whereby you leave your significant other at home and indulge in yourself and your closest friends, who you now see less and less thanks to hectic schedules. Sometimes this is the increasingly popular destination bachelor and bachelorette trip, but there also need not be a reason at all…other than the five we have outlined for you.
A good old-fashioned girls’ and boys’ trip is always filled with endless laughter, craziness, resurfacing of old inside jokes and the creation of new ones. It provides an opportunity to feed of eachother’s energy (your friends are also enjoying the occasion away from his or her SO) on a deeper level than an occasional group dinner with the ladies or night out with the guys. You end the trip revitalized as you are temporarily transported back to those university days of seemingly zero consequence and an unmatched ability to savour the moment. Without fail, you’ll return with a new “catch word” of the weekend and someone will likely have a new nickname. Even if the trip involved little sleep and multiple cocktails, you go back to work refreshed, laughing out loud to yourself about some of the new memories created and laughter shared.
Provides an Opportunity to Miss Eachother
Being away from your SO affords a healthy amount of space to miss one another. All of a sudden with you gone, it reminds them what it is like not to have you always there, live alone and perhaps revisit feelings of Sunday loneliness typically reserved for singles. In turn, though you are occupied with your friends, you will likely experience moments of missing them when you see something that reminds you of him or her, something they would like or appreciate or something you wish they could experience as well, like a stunning sunset. When you miss eachother, it is only going to bring everything stronger (and make for a passionate evening) when you reconnect again.
Breaks are Healthy
As much as the escape is an opportunity to do something for yourself, it also allows time for you and your SO to reflect upon the relationship. The re-evaluation gives you a chance to realize what you love about the other and the special thing you have, but also the shortcomings of the relationship that could perhaps use some work. Aside from the opportunities for reflection, sometimes time independent of the other is healthy…for both of you. Feelings of being “trapped” and the subsequent resentment tend to form when one party begins to feel “smothered” by the other. When you’re in love, it is easy to get so consumed and caught up in each other that friends and family take a backseat to your new life together. A girls and boys trip is a sure way to prevent falling deeply into that trap.
Get to Talk About Relationships
A girls’ or boys’ trip also allows you to be able to talk about the relationship with your trusted girls and guys, who can likely relate completely to your relationship woes and joys alike. It may be reassuring to know that your friends are experiencing the same relationship challenges as well. Nobody knows you like your girls and guys a weekend away could provide more insight to the opposite sex than a year’s subscription to Ask Men or Cosmopolitan – or a consultation with a couples therapist.
It’s All About You
A trip with the girls or guys provides an opportunity to be yourself and only take in your needs and the needs of your girls or guys, which, for the purpose of the trip, are likely to have fun, live in the moment and enjoy eachother’s company. It provides a time to feel most like yourself, when you were younger, when your friends were all that mattered and when you were more care-free (and single). At the same time, as much as he or she may miss you, they may in fact be enjoying the weekend to themselves for the weekend – to get the TV and bed to themselves, to order whatever types of topping on the pizza they want or to invite friends over for the big game or Bachelorette episode unapologetically.
Finally, relish in this time and don’t spend your trip worrying, thinking or fussing over the other person. A text may be nice to let him or her know you are alive, but take the time to focus on yourself and your friends. You already see the girls or guys less and less – make the most of the time you have…before it comes even more difficult when children are added to the mix.